Hot Grits, Sausage, Eggs, and a Good Marriage

For about three days, I had heard my husband, Brandon, tell me that he was hungry for some grits and sausage. He didn't necessarily think that I was listening, I hardly even aknowledged him.. He was just randomly expressing a desire, as he was pouring cold cereal into a bowl. I didn't react to his comment, I just continued making the kids their cereal.

The following day, Brandon was in the shower. I had already poured some milk on the kids' cereal, when I remembered that Brandon had said that he wanted some grits the previous day. I decided to make him smile. I brought the water to a boil, I poured the grits in, and I stirred. Now some people on here have never cooked grits before, but they are similar to any hot cereal, only they are stickier. As the grits were cooking, and I was stirring, I felt the hot grits boiling onto my hand. They would pop with the bubbles and splatter my hand. I just kept on stirring. They got to the desired consistancy, and I took them off of the heat and seasoned them the way that Brandon likes them seasoned. I was also cooking him his eggs and sausage. I get done cooking and wipe the hot grits off of my hand. He got out of the shower and said, "Mmmm, something smells good." I explained to him that he could sit down to eat his breakfast. He had a big smile on his face as he ate, then he left.

I gave the kids what was left over for their lunch. I seasoned them the way that they like them, then I put them in bed for their naps. Brandon got out of work late and decided that he would pick up the girls from vacation bible school. Everyone had already had dinner, but Brandon. He got home, and I cooked his dinner. He ate and everyone was satisfied. I put the kids to bed and Brandon says to me, as he is massaging my shoulders, "Nina, you know I love you right?" I smiled and nodded. We watched TV and went to bed.

Now here is the point to the story... I have been asked about half a dozen times in the past three months, how, I became so lucky to have such a good marriage. I will explain how...

- I didn't have to acknowledge my husband talking about food, to know what I had to do for him. Many women say this all the time, "Well you are grown, you have arms, cook it." I don't do that... I submit to my husbands needs. I think that we all should. Am I dependant on him for life? No. Do I consider myself a weaker sex because I do as he asks? No absolutely not. He does as I ask too. I love him and desire him to be happy, therefore I do what I can to make him happy. If I didn't have the time, or whatever, it is up to me to make the time for him.

- I allowed myself to cringe at the grits burning my hand in order to cook him his food. Did it kill me? No, I could have used a longer spoon, but I didn't. I hate grits, I hate cooking them, I love my husband. End of story.

- I gave to my kids what was left after I fed him. Ouch. Sounds mean right? No, he has to work for the family, he has to earn an income, the kids were fed, it takes him to keep them fed. People put their children first make their marriage fail. My kids are the most important things in my life next to Brandon. They are more important to me than myself.

- Brandon got out of work late. It never says that I called him questioning where he was at, blowing up his cell phone and being a private investigator. No, it simply states that he got out of work late. This doesn't bother me. I don't have to question his whereabouts. I TRUST him. I know where he is at. He told me that he had to work late. If that is what he says, that is where he is. I am not naive, I know some men cheat, but the difference is, I know my husband. I take care of him. He takes care of me. If I couldn't trust him, I wouldn't marry him! Acting foolish over nonsense is absolutely ridiculous. It would drive an innocent man away. Women need to be quiet once in a while!

- He came home, and again everyone had already been fed. I got up and cooked a whole nother meal, just for him to have somethign hot for dinner. Could he have gotten something small out of the fridge? Of course. Did I tell him to? Nope. I asked him what he was hungry for and I fixed it. He had even said that I didn't have to, but I told him that I was going to. This makes me cooking umpteen meals a day, but it doesn't matter. I am his wife.

- He rubbed my back. Bingo. Did everyone catch this??? When we go out of our ways to make them happy, they go out of their way to make us happy. What you don't know is, Brandon moves furniture, all the time. He lifts heavy things, and his whole back is knotted up and swolllen. I can see where his muscles are pulled just by looking at his back. He is in pain. However, the man didn't ask me to rub his back. He ate the food and told me he loved me and rubbed mine. It is give and take.

Arguing and fussing at each other isn't worth it. It gives you a household of problems. I know many, many people that are going through divorce right now, or are having marriage problems. I believe that we need to be less selfish to the ones we love, and show them we care about them. It makes me happy to make Brandon happy. Then the feelings are mutual. I am not saying that we don't argue, but I am saying that things are happy and well maintained most of the time. I wouldn't change my marriage for the world. I am also not ashamed to state that. I am still independant and strong. Even though I am independant and strong, I am not too proud to tell my husband that I care about him. I am not too proud to submit to him. I know that he will do the same thing for me. That is what makes a good marriage. If we swallowed our pride a little bit, many of the marriage problems today, are small and petty things. I am not saying stay with him if he beats the mess out of you! I am saying sit back and chill out and do what you can to make him smile. He will appreciate it and so will you.