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I have come to the conclusion after having three kids, that I sincerely enjoy bringing forth life. I love watching my children grow, I love seeing them learn, develop, and change. However, just because I enjoy my children and watching them grow, doesn’t exactly mean that I want any more.
Kids are fun to have but they can also be a handful. My kids bite, pinch, holler, scream, throw things, fight, throw up, pee all over everything imaginable, and sometimes they even say rude things.
I have three. Three is more than enough. I am content with my life having three children. Sometimes I want to get competitive and have more. I love the idea that more kids means more of a woman. It is not true. What do I look like being dragged down with six kids and no time to be me? I turn into more of a mom and less of a woman.
Right now my life is balanced. Right now I am happy. I used to have this strange baby fetish. I see a baby and my heart melts. I have been known to tell parents to hold on to their kids cause I’m likely to kidnap them. I wasn’t serious, but a part of me would long to hold that baby.
Something changed in me recently. I went from being questionable if I wanted more kids, to absolutely sure that I don’t want anymore. Of course if something happened and I was to have another one, okay. I would accept it and be happy. However, given everything in my power, that is not the plan.
Since my decision to stop having children, I have noticed that my nurturing spirit went into plants. It sounds really strange, but I put a lot of time and energy into my plants. I love watching them grow, develop, change, and blossom. I love watching them go from near death to living strong. Plants are not as scary to watch when they are really fragile and sick, if you will. However, you still that sense of pride and happiness when they begin to turn for the better. That feeling is not nearly the same as a child, but still the same, you can feel it.
Anyway, I know people that can’t have kids. Some of them get really close to their animals and some to their plants. I can respect that and understand it. No matter who you are, you can always love and appreciate bringing forth life.
I read my Bible and it almost scares me to see what’s going on. If I didn’t know God, I would be completely terrified. Too many people these days don’t value life. It’s a shame to see life wasted that way.
