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Do you ever remember something happening to you that at the time you felt was completely negative? I mean seriously, sometimes unexpected things happen right? Perhaps you were sitting in the house doing dishes, when you hear the basement flooding with water (this happens to me way too often).
Or, how about the times when you were driving down the highway, when out of nowhere you got a blowout. You were so upset because you were running late for work, but it didn't even matter because then there would be no way you would make it on time. So you had to call your boss to tell him that you would be late. While you are stuck, trying to force the lug nuts off the tire. You have no luck because these days most shops use a machine that forces them on, so you and your tire iron are not physically strong enough to get them off. So you were stuck sitting there with one lug nut off, but the rest just wouldn't budge.
So, you had to call a tow truck and a ride to come rescue you. However, instead of being grateful for options, you were pacing back and forth, cursing, waiting for a whole 45 minutes for some help. Then it occured to you, when the tow was pulling up, that you had no idea how you were going to pay for the tow. Three months ago, you cancelled towing from your insurance, to help save you a few bucks, and quite frankly you take such good care of the car that you didn't really need towing (this has happened to me).
Finally, after what seems like hours, you are actually on your way to work, when you notice a traffic jam that just started to let up, from what appears to be a fatal accident that seemed to occur about an hour ago...When suddenly, the goosebumps prick your neck. You come to the realization that if your tire didn't blow, that it could have very likely been you in the accident. Suddenly the cursing that you threw around earlier turned into blessings to a God, that you are unsure exists or not, but somehow irony made it so you didn't have a huge accident. So, truth-be-told, it doesn't really matter at that point if God does exist, because you are somehow invincible. Right.
For me it seems that every time Brandon and I get into an argument, our entire basement floods. We will then have to forget our differences and work together ankle deep in water, that only God knows its contents, vaccuming and fixing pipes. UGH! And you have the audacity to question God's existence? Are you kidding me? I KNOW God exists! Most of the time I think I am one of his only sources of amusement. I think he sits there laughing at us every time he gets bored.
So it's like this, the next time your tire blows, you get into a fender bender, or you are out for a week suffering from Swine Flu, instead of starting out with the curses, which is what seems to be the norm, think about how good you have it. Remind yourself that there is far worse out there. Therefore, you can just begin with the blessings and praises. It will make you happy and everyone around you happy too. Also, keep in mind the next time something crazy like that happens to you, think of Job 37:13. "He causes things to happen on earth, either as a punishment or as a sign of his unfailing love" (NLT version).
Please keep in mind that hindsight is always 20:20!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
My Husband and a Jock Strap
Hmmm. I like the title of this one... I was in bed thinking hard about things the other night.. I couldn't sleep. Thoughts were overwhelming my mind. Every time I go into a shut-down mode, this happens. I have so many thoughts and reflections on life and things. I can't say that I mind. It gives me so many things to write about. Since that is a passion, I am truly blessed to be bombarded with these thoughts.
I was laying there thinking about what I would do if I didn't have the support of my husband. I mean seriously, Brandon never stops me from living my dreams. Think about it, a few weeks perhaps months, back, I was stressed out about the pressure of what I am supposed to do with my life. I was confused, and felt to some degree, hopeless. I always use the term "jack of all trades, master of none." Anyway, who did I go talk to about it? Brandon of course. He listens to me no matter how silly it seems. He supports me in everything that I do. He protects me from the harshness of everyone elses opinions. He is there for me when I need him most, and he is around when I feel like I don't need him at all. Brandon supports me, even when I want to achieve the impossnnible. I am getting ahead of myself, let me start from the beginning...
So, after a few weeks/months of wallowing in self pity, thinking about how my dreams are so unaccomplishable, thinking that I am wasting my own time and his, and praying relentlessly for answers, it occured to me. I think that it was my dad who made it clear to be honest. I feel often that I have no calling in life. For a religious person, that is a hard feeling. However, my dad pointed out to me the other day, when talking about this exact subject. He told me, "You know how to tell if something is a calliing or not?"
I said, "No how?"
Dad told me, "You know it is a calling, if it is a passion that no matter what you can't shake it off, but something that you will be willing to do without getting paid for it." That statement put a lump in my throat so big, that a frog would have shuddered with fear. I knew right then that he was right. I knew right then that I was not mistaken with my calling. I knew that my dad answered all of my doubts, questions, and problems. My mom agreed. It was like in unison. I knew exactly what I had to do.
I went home that night and read the Bible. Ironically, when I have no idea what I am wanting to look for to read, I typically begin in Matthew. I do this because there is a lot of dialogue from Christ himself in Matthew. So, the verse that I was hit with was, Matthew 7:7-8 It simply says this... "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks recieves, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened" (NKJV version). This confirmed my doubts. The knowledge that I had all along, was out on the table. I already had the answer, I was doubting my own faith.
I decided to sit down and talk to Brandon. I needed him to know, what I was working on. I needed to let him know that I was going to work on the impossible. I told him, and he looked at me completely confused. He said to me, "Nina, I thought that was the plan the entire time." I informed him of the doubts that I had. He made it known to me that I always have doubts, that doesn't mean that I was going to quit trying.
I went to bed that night, with a spinning head. I was thinking about Brandon. I was reflecting on how lucky I am.. I was trying to think of an effective metaphor to explain this, then it hit me... jock strap. Hmm. Interesting. Well, I think of it like this. He protects me from people, he shields me from harm, he holds me tight when I am afraid, but most importantly, he supports me in everything that I do. He supports me when I want to achieve the impossible. He never turns his back on me. He is always there. The best thing I could think of was that, jock strap. I think that is what all men and women alike need to aim to be. There you have it, my thoughts for today.
I was laying there thinking about what I would do if I didn't have the support of my husband. I mean seriously, Brandon never stops me from living my dreams. Think about it, a few weeks perhaps months, back, I was stressed out about the pressure of what I am supposed to do with my life. I was confused, and felt to some degree, hopeless. I always use the term "jack of all trades, master of none." Anyway, who did I go talk to about it? Brandon of course. He listens to me no matter how silly it seems. He supports me in everything that I do. He protects me from the harshness of everyone elses opinions. He is there for me when I need him most, and he is around when I feel like I don't need him at all. Brandon supports me, even when I want to achieve the impossnnible. I am getting ahead of myself, let me start from the beginning...
So, after a few weeks/months of wallowing in self pity, thinking about how my dreams are so unaccomplishable, thinking that I am wasting my own time and his, and praying relentlessly for answers, it occured to me. I think that it was my dad who made it clear to be honest. I feel often that I have no calling in life. For a religious person, that is a hard feeling. However, my dad pointed out to me the other day, when talking about this exact subject. He told me, "You know how to tell if something is a calliing or not?"
I said, "No how?"
Dad told me, "You know it is a calling, if it is a passion that no matter what you can't shake it off, but something that you will be willing to do without getting paid for it." That statement put a lump in my throat so big, that a frog would have shuddered with fear. I knew right then that he was right. I knew right then that I was not mistaken with my calling. I knew that my dad answered all of my doubts, questions, and problems. My mom agreed. It was like in unison. I knew exactly what I had to do.
I went home that night and read the Bible. Ironically, when I have no idea what I am wanting to look for to read, I typically begin in Matthew. I do this because there is a lot of dialogue from Christ himself in Matthew. So, the verse that I was hit with was, Matthew 7:7-8 It simply says this... "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks recieves, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened" (NKJV version). This confirmed my doubts. The knowledge that I had all along, was out on the table. I already had the answer, I was doubting my own faith.
I decided to sit down and talk to Brandon. I needed him to know, what I was working on. I needed to let him know that I was going to work on the impossible. I told him, and he looked at me completely confused. He said to me, "Nina, I thought that was the plan the entire time." I informed him of the doubts that I had. He made it known to me that I always have doubts, that doesn't mean that I was going to quit trying.
I went to bed that night, with a spinning head. I was thinking about Brandon. I was reflecting on how lucky I am.. I was trying to think of an effective metaphor to explain this, then it hit me... jock strap. Hmm. Interesting. Well, I think of it like this. He protects me from people, he shields me from harm, he holds me tight when I am afraid, but most importantly, he supports me in everything that I do. He supports me when I want to achieve the impossible. He never turns his back on me. He is always there. The best thing I could think of was that, jock strap. I think that is what all men and women alike need to aim to be. There you have it, my thoughts for today.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Hot Grits, Sausage, Eggs, and a Good Marriage
For about three days, I had heard my husband, Brandon, tell me that he was hungry for some grits and sausage. He didn't necessarily think that I was listening, I hardly even aknowledged him.. He was just randomly expressing a desire, as he was pouring cold cereal into a bowl. I didn't react to his comment, I just continued making the kids their cereal.
The following day, Brandon was in the shower. I had already poured some milk on the kids' cereal, when I remembered that Brandon had said that he wanted some grits the previous day. I decided to make him smile. I brought the water to a boil, I poured the grits in, and I stirred. Now some people on here have never cooked grits before, but they are similar to any hot cereal, only they are stickier. As the grits were cooking, and I was stirring, I felt the hot grits boiling onto my hand. They would pop with the bubbles and splatter my hand. I just kept on stirring. They got to the desired consistancy, and I took them off of the heat and seasoned them the way that Brandon likes them seasoned. I was also cooking him his eggs and sausage. I get done cooking and wipe the hot grits off of my hand. He got out of the shower and said, "Mmmm, something smells good." I explained to him that he could sit down to eat his breakfast. He had a big smile on his face as he ate, then he left.
I gave the kids what was left over for their lunch. I seasoned them the way that they like them, then I put them in bed for their naps. Brandon got out of work late and decided that he would pick up the girls from vacation bible school. Everyone had already had dinner, but Brandon. He got home, and I cooked his dinner. He ate and everyone was satisfied. I put the kids to bed and Brandon says to me, as he is massaging my shoulders, "Nina, you know I love you right?" I smiled and nodded. We watched TV and went to bed.
Now here is the point to the story... I have been asked about half a dozen times in the past three months, how, I became so lucky to have such a good marriage. I will explain how...
- I didn't have to acknowledge my husband talking about food, to know what I had to do for him. Many women say this all the time, "Well you are grown, you have arms, cook it." I don't do that... I submit to my husbands needs. I think that we all should. Am I dependant on him for life? No. Do I consider myself a weaker sex because I do as he asks? No absolutely not. He does as I ask too. I love him and desire him to be happy, therefore I do what I can to make him happy. If I didn't have the time, or whatever, it is up to me to make the time for him.
- I allowed myself to cringe at the grits burning my hand in order to cook him his food. Did it kill me? No, I could have used a longer spoon, but I didn't. I hate grits, I hate cooking them, I love my husband. End of story.
- I gave to my kids what was left after I fed him. Ouch. Sounds mean right? No, he has to work for the family, he has to earn an income, the kids were fed, it takes him to keep them fed. People put their children first make their marriage fail. My kids are the most important things in my life next to Brandon. They are more important to me than myself.
- Brandon got out of work late. It never says that I called him questioning where he was at, blowing up his cell phone and being a private investigator. No, it simply states that he got out of work late. This doesn't bother me. I don't have to question his whereabouts. I TRUST him. I know where he is at. He told me that he had to work late. If that is what he says, that is where he is. I am not naive, I know some men cheat, but the difference is, I know my husband. I take care of him. He takes care of me. If I couldn't trust him, I wouldn't marry him! Acting foolish over nonsense is absolutely ridiculous. It would drive an innocent man away. Women need to be quiet once in a while!
- He came home, and again everyone had already been fed. I got up and cooked a whole nother meal, just for him to have somethign hot for dinner. Could he have gotten something small out of the fridge? Of course. Did I tell him to? Nope. I asked him what he was hungry for and I fixed it. He had even said that I didn't have to, but I told him that I was going to. This makes me cooking umpteen meals a day, but it doesn't matter. I am his wife.
- He rubbed my back. Bingo. Did everyone catch this??? When we go out of our ways to make them happy, they go out of their way to make us happy. What you don't know is, Brandon moves furniture, all the time. He lifts heavy things, and his whole back is knotted up and swolllen. I can see where his muscles are pulled just by looking at his back. He is in pain. However, the man didn't ask me to rub his back. He ate the food and told me he loved me and rubbed mine. It is give and take.
Arguing and fussing at each other isn't worth it. It gives you a household of problems. I know many, many people that are going through divorce right now, or are having marriage problems. I believe that we need to be less selfish to the ones we love, and show them we care about them. It makes me happy to make Brandon happy. Then the feelings are mutual. I am not saying that we don't argue, but I am saying that things are happy and well maintained most of the time. I wouldn't change my marriage for the world. I am also not ashamed to state that. I am still independant and strong. Even though I am independant and strong, I am not too proud to tell my husband that I care about him. I am not too proud to submit to him. I know that he will do the same thing for me. That is what makes a good marriage. If we swallowed our pride a little bit, many of the marriage problems today, are small and petty things. I am not saying stay with him if he beats the mess out of you! I am saying sit back and chill out and do what you can to make him smile. He will appreciate it and so will you.
The following day, Brandon was in the shower. I had already poured some milk on the kids' cereal, when I remembered that Brandon had said that he wanted some grits the previous day. I decided to make him smile. I brought the water to a boil, I poured the grits in, and I stirred. Now some people on here have never cooked grits before, but they are similar to any hot cereal, only they are stickier. As the grits were cooking, and I was stirring, I felt the hot grits boiling onto my hand. They would pop with the bubbles and splatter my hand. I just kept on stirring. They got to the desired consistancy, and I took them off of the heat and seasoned them the way that Brandon likes them seasoned. I was also cooking him his eggs and sausage. I get done cooking and wipe the hot grits off of my hand. He got out of the shower and said, "Mmmm, something smells good." I explained to him that he could sit down to eat his breakfast. He had a big smile on his face as he ate, then he left.
I gave the kids what was left over for their lunch. I seasoned them the way that they like them, then I put them in bed for their naps. Brandon got out of work late and decided that he would pick up the girls from vacation bible school. Everyone had already had dinner, but Brandon. He got home, and I cooked his dinner. He ate and everyone was satisfied. I put the kids to bed and Brandon says to me, as he is massaging my shoulders, "Nina, you know I love you right?" I smiled and nodded. We watched TV and went to bed.
Now here is the point to the story... I have been asked about half a dozen times in the past three months, how, I became so lucky to have such a good marriage. I will explain how...
- I didn't have to acknowledge my husband talking about food, to know what I had to do for him. Many women say this all the time, "Well you are grown, you have arms, cook it." I don't do that... I submit to my husbands needs. I think that we all should. Am I dependant on him for life? No. Do I consider myself a weaker sex because I do as he asks? No absolutely not. He does as I ask too. I love him and desire him to be happy, therefore I do what I can to make him happy. If I didn't have the time, or whatever, it is up to me to make the time for him.
- I allowed myself to cringe at the grits burning my hand in order to cook him his food. Did it kill me? No, I could have used a longer spoon, but I didn't. I hate grits, I hate cooking them, I love my husband. End of story.
- I gave to my kids what was left after I fed him. Ouch. Sounds mean right? No, he has to work for the family, he has to earn an income, the kids were fed, it takes him to keep them fed. People put their children first make their marriage fail. My kids are the most important things in my life next to Brandon. They are more important to me than myself.
- Brandon got out of work late. It never says that I called him questioning where he was at, blowing up his cell phone and being a private investigator. No, it simply states that he got out of work late. This doesn't bother me. I don't have to question his whereabouts. I TRUST him. I know where he is at. He told me that he had to work late. If that is what he says, that is where he is. I am not naive, I know some men cheat, but the difference is, I know my husband. I take care of him. He takes care of me. If I couldn't trust him, I wouldn't marry him! Acting foolish over nonsense is absolutely ridiculous. It would drive an innocent man away. Women need to be quiet once in a while!
- He came home, and again everyone had already been fed. I got up and cooked a whole nother meal, just for him to have somethign hot for dinner. Could he have gotten something small out of the fridge? Of course. Did I tell him to? Nope. I asked him what he was hungry for and I fixed it. He had even said that I didn't have to, but I told him that I was going to. This makes me cooking umpteen meals a day, but it doesn't matter. I am his wife.
- He rubbed my back. Bingo. Did everyone catch this??? When we go out of our ways to make them happy, they go out of their way to make us happy. What you don't know is, Brandon moves furniture, all the time. He lifts heavy things, and his whole back is knotted up and swolllen. I can see where his muscles are pulled just by looking at his back. He is in pain. However, the man didn't ask me to rub his back. He ate the food and told me he loved me and rubbed mine. It is give and take.
Arguing and fussing at each other isn't worth it. It gives you a household of problems. I know many, many people that are going through divorce right now, or are having marriage problems. I believe that we need to be less selfish to the ones we love, and show them we care about them. It makes me happy to make Brandon happy. Then the feelings are mutual. I am not saying that we don't argue, but I am saying that things are happy and well maintained most of the time. I wouldn't change my marriage for the world. I am also not ashamed to state that. I am still independant and strong. Even though I am independant and strong, I am not too proud to tell my husband that I care about him. I am not too proud to submit to him. I know that he will do the same thing for me. That is what makes a good marriage. If we swallowed our pride a little bit, many of the marriage problems today, are small and petty things. I am not saying stay with him if he beats the mess out of you! I am saying sit back and chill out and do what you can to make him smile. He will appreciate it and so will you.
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